What are you becoming my friend as a person? 28 FEB 2013

What are you becoming my friend as a person? In regards to this important question, I have some important things to share based upon my experience around men of character, who showed me by their character that each of us can be effective & successful in life. I’m passionate to share what I learned.
I sincerely believe our inner game (character) is the biggest step towards success. Seeing their success, I used them as role models to improve my inner game. A brief description of their characters is to say they were like Christ (the ultimate role model). Yet they were ordinary guys with extraordinary character & extraordinary success. Naturally, this post isn’t going to instantly change you, as if my nose could wiggle, and “puff!”, your problems were solved. Hopefully, it gets you thinking about something seldom mentioned in Hollywood & lacking in high places…character.
First, most communication is non-verbal, just the way we walk speaks volumes. People peer into our souls through our eyes. Our non-verbal communication may say, “I need to be loved, before I can love.” The opposite message is positively powerful!
Next, if the person senses that you consider yourself their equal under God, not a superior or inferior being, who is able to love & affirm to them that you care for them as much as yourself, and value such things as their right to choose, and their right to have feelings & opinions, just as you value such things for yourself, then you become effective and the walls come down, and win-win situations can occur. Confidence in both yourself & God is what is needed. Call it a holy boldness in Christ, that allows you to be assertive (which means bold, confident & positive). People seem clueless when they hear the word “assertive”. It is not aggressiveness. You are neither a door mat nor a tank. When Christ was tired, he sent his disciples away, so he could rest. When people were excited and tried to guilt trip him that people were waiting for him, he calmly continued his teaching till done. My Christ-like role models were in control of how they acted, and communicated that they had the right not to conform to the expectations of others. They didn’t demand their rights, but in a quiet way always received them. The goal of quiet assertiveness is not to get your own way or proclaim what you want, but to teach others how to treat you with the same respect they want. The role-models were fearless towards other’s reactions.
Finally, they were humorous & positive. They spoke the truth in love, never talking behind people’s backs, and did not spend their time complaining & criticizing. Nor did I feel they took themselves too seriously.
A final thought, the infant learning to walk needs balance, and it’s also key to our Christian walk. Again, don’t be a wimp or a bully, but do unto others as you would have them do to you. Preserve the dignity of everyone. These are concepts that changed my life. I was blessed to see men act like Christ. Nobility in character, if lived, will preserve our communities and give us moral authority. The inner game brothers and sisters, that’s where it’s at.