Journaling: last minute holidays and missing friends.

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    Recently if been clued into programming I’ve received. Through initial journaling of events in my life, I’ve been clued into some interesting signs to look for if your raised into a cult (as sojan likes to call it)..

    Here’s my working list so far:
    *Child friends that they moved away that you never hear or see again, especially you don’t think about them
    *lots of twins living in community
    *teachers and others strangers acting like their parents
    *jobs where don’t seem to contribute much and hired on the spot
    *intense Suicidal thoughts and isolation at the same time, thus happened when I heard 9of conspiracy for the first time.
    *a sporadic appearance of policemen in house, telling you off especially around time of suicidal thoughts
    *sexual partners are only casual, with most women placed to cause most heartbreak(maybe not something) and usually have some random knowledge about you, like my holiday to France.
    *youth group, the Christian ones, used mainly for social control and a bit ofindoctrination
    *made up languages and Celtic symbolic understanding from a young age
    *extended family can have terrible relationships
    *random drama and music performing when younger age
    *random holidays when you come into some money or an unlikely competition win to travel. In this regard I had “won” a trip to UEFA champions league final in 2011, and have been on last minute holidays over the last three Christmas’s.
    *also pay attention to the random celebrities you run into, Tony Abbott for example for me.


    Just starting to put the pieces together my self, after years of denial I have some what similar experience. Suspicious teachers that sent obvious Q’s to me often with in class(winking,etc)that also nominated me for a summer camp that had a few missing days that are on the edge of my memory(very hard to vent the truth); some time later I was at a very christian camp and girls knew me in ways that I was very unaware of. Also a job later in life that had a quick start, it seems I was very close to a cult or the cult at that point. There was only one relationship that seemed too good to be true although I am sure that it is real(my memory was very veg I had little to no memory of her and it was up to her kick start my memory) every thing she said was of high knowledge and feeling towards me(way too complicated to elucidate hear), it was just was a huge set up to cause the most heartbreak basically ruining relationships and a sexlife so far.Through out school there was two types of classmates one was people who had knowledge of me that I did not know or I spent a lot of time forgetting what they knew, the second type tended to watch and stay there distance being mischievous.

    sorry for taking over a bit, I was pointing out the similarities. I spent lots of time over past few years reviewing stuff that happened in pre teens and teens, I repressed while trying to move on and focus on school and a carrier

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